A number of Sundays ago, I stood in church silently as everyone around me was singing worship songs. I was silent because my heart was stricken with fear. No one else knew, no one but God. My unspoken fears sought the Lord on my behalf.
It was the Sunday of the week I was told my son had to be sedated for a CT Scan. It was the Sunday, a day before the scheduled CT Scan thingy. It wasn’t a risky procedure. But somehow the night before (Saturday night) I remembered stories of people not waking up from anesthesia and suddenly I was gripped with fear. The thought that there was even a remote possibility I might lose my son (at least on earth) really, really scared me.
I told hubby Saturday night itself. He said, “Just trust God.” So I prayed. Still I went to church on Sunday with a quiet heavy burden.
So there I stood silent in church. Then while everyone was singing God spoke to my heart. HE said “I know how it feels to lose a son, I lost Mine.”
That was all He said and that was all I needed to hear. That simple sentence reminded me that He knows what it’s like to be a parent and He experienced the pain of losing His only son even if it was for just a short while. He KNEW what its like to see His son suffer. He knows my heart as a mother. More than that He loved me and I am His child and so is my son. I can trust our heavenly Father.
My fears dissolved as I drew silent tears. How could I have forgotten that God is a Father? How could I have not realized He understood? And at the same time I was SO grateful. Grateful that He didn’t think my fears were too silly for Him. He took the trouble and made His way to minister to my heart.
Isn’t my God just marvelous? How could I but trust such a God?
I may never know what this life will bring but I know I can always trust the One who gave His only Son for me.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.